Audley: The Media
 

I may never know why I was selected for this assignment -- to chronicle the opening of the circuits that brings us into contact with our spirit helpers. I’m just average, not highly intelligent, not highly educated, not especially religious. I have to admit I had the advantage of experimentation. I wasn’t stifled. I was given a chance to learn about life first hand instead of being saddled with somebody else’s vision. In other words, I was allowed to learn from my own mistakes. And I made plenty!

There were many times when I tried to quit! I tried to put my destiny out of sight and pretend it wasn’t important. I tried to say, "Take this job and shove it! Give it to somebody else. Somebody who cares! I’m not even interested!" But somebody or something had a perspective that was more than me and my opinion. I credit Athena. She told me recently it was HER job, HER mission, but she needed me to be the material vehicle. So it became Our job, Our Mission, and it’s better that way because I came to believe I wasn’t alone in my madness.

I guess I can be glad of it.

I’ve sacrified my human life and political career, my financial inheritance, my emotional attachments, my personal dreams – everything! – for these chronicles. But when I’ve tried to ignore it, when I’ve tried to talk myself into doing something else, convincing myself this was ridiculous and there were other meanings and values than this, it only worked for a little while and then it would rise up to greet me and beckon to me and, once again, I would follow blindly, like a child following the Pied Piper, listening to the music of a different drummer.

Finally it became clear to me that this is the only reality that is. For me. It’s my destiny. I can’t avoid it. I’m not going to worry about it anymore. Like Alexius, I lost enough sleep over my destiny. Time now to "just do it".